Nipple Surfing: The Best Part of Tony Hawk’s Project 8

I don’t think I’ve really enjoyed a Tony Hawk game since… Pro Skater 3? Part four was pretty boring and Underground was too bizarre. American Wasteland, I didn’t even bother with. So when I saw the demo of Project 8 pop up on Xbox Live not long ago I grabbed it in hopes that the fancy new title would mean the magic was back.

But it’s not, at least not for me. I think I’m just Tony Hawk’d out. The Nail the Trick gameplay — in which you use the analog sticks to mimic your skaters fancy footwork — is slick, as are the ridiculous lines and combos littering the tiny demo area, but what I found most entertaining were the bails. Finally, the series is using ragdoll physics instead of canned animation for bails and they’ve put a Burnout spin on taking a fall.

One of the goals in the game is to see how much bodily harm you can cause by breaking bones and racking up huge hospital bills. You do this by holding a grab too long, losing your balance, or just “activating” a bail via a button combination. Once off your feet the ragdoll kicks in and you’ve got some control over your direction and momentum. Tap the button just right and you can keep “skipping” your grizzled body across the terrain.

It proved endlessly hilarious and I found myself doing big combos just to get extra speed to hit a big jump and completely bail in mid-air. Crashing, flopping, and rolling along I managed to break 13 bones in one wipe out. Not bad, but the game allegedly requires you to break every bone in your body! It’s not nearly enough to make me go out and grab the game but I just may rent it once the holiday release schedule dies down and see if I can’t become King of Injury (because I sure as hell can’t match those high scores)!