Dance King: DDR Toys Now at Burger King

McDonald’s may have had the exclusive rights to offer up Nintendo toys for decades but Burger King is quickly becoming the nerdiest place to hang your head in shame and order up a kid’s meal. Last year they had those bitchin’ Star Wars toys, then real Xbox games (better in principal than in practice) and now they’ve got DDR toys.

Hot off the heels of the horrid Strawberry Shortcake DDR come these eight toys that – based on the two I picked up – suck. Translating the fast-paced action of the game into kid’s meal toys is harder than you might think. The results are a light up wristband, Simon-style blinky light game, spinning “disco ball”, a music mixer, DDR water bottle, a shoelace tie-on that makes sounds, a lame CD packed with screensavers and audio tracks, and a dancing Afro figure.

So far I got the Music Mixer which plays four DDR sounds and is sure to annoy any parent within thirty seconds and the Spin ‘n Strobe disco ball which only spins for a second, lights up, and then whirls to a stop. Both are really pretty lame and I don’t think I’ll be stopping back at the BK for any more. More if you really need it.

Now, where’s my Happy Halo Meal toys?