What would it take for you to buy a Wii U?

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On this week’s Giant Bombcast the gang was talking about what it would take for each of them to buy a Wii U. As I don’t care for most of what Nintendo’s selling these days and third-party support is all but dead I started to wonder myself. I’m tired of Mario This and Mario That. Even the ‘Year of Luigi’, starring my long-time favorite brother,  hasn’t been enough to get me to buy, well, any of Nintendo’s games. So here’s three quick responses, right from the heart.

Wave Race
What I need is a new Wave Race, one with water on par with the original. It was practically an opponent itself and being able to use momentum to force yourself underwater to shave lap times was brilliant stuff that still hasn’t been matched. I’d even tolerate tilt-only controls just to be able to catch a wave at its peak to go soaring over a blockade and into first place.

Pilotwings
Archery and golf (even swordplay and frisbee) were fun for a while but where I spent the most time in Wii Sports Resort was flying around Wuhu Island. Searching for “points of interest” and shooting balloons were more interesting than I expected but there is something deeply satisfying about exploring that island. So basically I want a new Pilotwings with more aerial diversions and a bigger, livelier island to explore. Just off the top of my head I’d like the balancing act of using the GamePad to fly but also having to hold it upright and use it as a camera to take specific photos.

Something Unexpected
The GamePad is a streaming handheld with motion sensors, cameras, a microphone, and loads of buttons that’s capable of running games concurrent with what’s on the TV. There are ideas there that I can’t comprehend, that no one to date has really pulled together. If Nintendo could get iOS developers on board there’s no telling what we’d see. Don’t get all pissy, I hate touchscreen gaming (a lot) but there have been some really clever, highly original iOS games over the past five years that are only possible with that kind of hardware. The potential is huge but the deluge remains dammed.

After today’s Nintendo Direct it seems like my personal system sellers are far, far off if they ever happen at all. And that’s fine, I’m not trying to be down on Nintendo or the Wii U and I have no pro-Sony/Microsoft agenda. Jeff asked what it would take and that’s my answer.

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